Elliot Ritzema

Month: May 2014

  • All the Single Ladies (and Gentlemen): A Review

    My wife and I were married almost five years ago, and we dated for about three years before that, so I haven’t been well and truly “unattached” for about eight years. I can vividly recall what it felt like, though: the constant wondering if I would ever get married, the visions of question marks above various girls’ heads, the bumbling (and sometimes embarrassing, for both me and them) attempts at romance with some of them. Being a young single Christian carries with it all sorts of expectations and feelings of inadequacy. It’s not so much that people ask you why you’re “still” single (although some tactless people do); they don’t have to. All you have to do is look around you at the various friends who are pairing off to get a feeling that something is wrong with you.

    Eventually I decided that I couldn’t live my life based on the possibility that I might get married. I couldn’t make decisions based on the possibility of meeting someone, and I couldn’t make plans based on the assumption that I would be married. Ever. I would do what I felt called to do as a single person, and let the relational chips fall where they may. This wasn’t a one-time decision; it was a struggle. But it was the only way to escape the anxiety of being single.

    I haven’t read any books for Christian singles since those days, but even then I wasn’t impressed with the genre. The most popular Christian singleness book when I was in college was I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which I never got around to reading (though my girlfriend at the time did. Seriously). Since “singleness” as we know it in our culture wasn’t really a phenomenon in biblical times, the Bible doesn’t have much to say on the topic. So, fairly or unfairly, I usually look down on Christian singleness books as containing one person’s (sometimes good, sometimes bad) advice covered with a thin veneer of Bible verses that may or may not be taken out of context.

    I read my first Christian singleness book in years recently: Wendy Widder’s Living Whole without a Better Half: Biblical Truth for the Single Life. Even though it doesn’t necessarily speak to where I am in life anymore, I do care about single people I know, and single people in the church in general, and Wendy and I work together. I know she has graduate degrees in Bible, theology, and ancient languages, so I knew at least when she quoted the Bible it wasn’t going to be out of context. I also respect her as a person, and this is a subject that is close to her heart, so I wanted to see what she had to say.

    As expected, she does indeed quote the Bible in context. In fact, the entire book is organized around a Bible passage. The structure of the book comes from Hebrews 11–12. She depicts life as a race, focusing on Hebrews 12:1 (“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses . . .”) and devoting chapters to various Old Testament luminaries mentioned in chapter 11: Abraham, Noah, Moses, Jacob, Joseph, and others. In each chapter, she shows how the qualities displayed by these heroes of the faith can help single people today run their own race. In the chapter on Moses, for example, she looks at how he dealt with loneliness and rejection during his years in the Midian wilderness. Weaving in stories from her own life, she suggests ways in which the traits developed by these biblical characters can be developed in people who are single today. This is not so they can find a mate; God hasn’t promised that to any of us. Rather, it is so that they can develop into the people God made them to be, whether they are single or married.

    I would recommend this book to any Christians who are single and want a solidly biblical take on how to be a single Christian. I would also recommend it to any married Christians with single friends, and even anyone who wants guidance and encouragement as they “run the race set before them.”

    Note: Thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. If you want to pick it up yourself, the ebook is only $2.99 until May 30, 2014.

  • Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood? A Review

    Environmentalism is part of the culture here in the Pacific Northwest. One aspect of environmentalism is the encouragement to “buy local”—many people here love local businesses, and if given a choice will prefer to patronize them over a national chain.

    In light of this cultural preference for the local, it is not surprising that this part of the country is home to the Parish Collective, a group that seeks to root churches and nonprofits in local neighborhoods and connect like-minded people across regions. Three leaders of the Parish Collective (Paul Sparks, Tim Soerens, and Dwight J. Friesen) have now written a book called The New Parish: How Neighborhood Churches Are Transforming Mission, Discipleship and Community. I decided I had to read it when I saw this promo video, filmed in my very own neighborhood:

    Those of you who know Bellingham will recognize that the coffee shop featured here is the Lettered Streets Coffeehouse. And those of you who have been to my house will recognize that I live about two blocks from Sean Hall. 

    The book comes in three parts. The authors ask in the first part, “Why do we need a new parish?” They argue that “individualism and living above place have fragmented the Western church” (15). In the second part, they ask, “What is the new parish?” Here they argue for a “faithful presence” that integrates community, formation, and mission in all dimensions of public life. In the third part, they ask, “How do we practice the new parish?” They devote one chapter each to the practices of presencing, rooting, linking, and leading.

    The biggest difference I can see between the new parish model and the old parish model is the recognition of pluralism: most places have a variety of churches, with different histories and different beliefs. The old parish model deals with this by saying that other churches are not really part of the One True Church. The new parish seems a lot messier. The authors talk some about this in their chapter on “Rooting,” but I would like to have heard a bit more in this book about how to navigate that reality. What happens if you and another church in your neighborhood have different ideas about a central doctrine like the Trinity? Or a hot-button issue in the church like women serving as pastors? Or a hot-button social issue like gay marriage? Dealing with such specific issues likely just did not fit into the scope of this book, but nevertheless that was what I was most curious about when I finished.

    Overall, this book struck a chord in me. Like the authors, I have seen and experienced the effects of fragmentation and long for an integrated life. Those times when I have lived “above place,” I have felt depressed or anxious. I want to know people and be known by them. I want to know the history of where I live. I want to be able to walk places, and not be forced to drive everywhere (thankfully, the place where I live now is walkable, but that has not always been the case). I want my church community to do life together in our place, and invite others into that life together. This book helped me to think through these issues, and for that I am thankful.

    Note: Thanks to InterVarsity Press for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

  • What Your Soul Needs: A Review

    Dallas Willard, the philosopher and author of several books on Christian spirituality, passed away in May 2013. He and John Ortberg, another writer on Christian spirituality, were friends. Ortberg’s latest book, Soul Keeping: Caring for the Most Important Part of You, is in part about that friendship. In an interview promoting the book, Ortberg said in a way it was kind of like Mitch Albom’s most famous book, only the Tuesdays were spent with Dallas rather than Morrie. While the book is ostensibly about the soul, the friendship between Willard and Ortberg is what drives the book along and gives it its most touching moments.

    Toward the beginning of the book, Ortberg quotes Willard’s definition of the soul as “that aspect of your whole being that correlates, integrates, and enlivens everything going on in the various dimensions of the self. The soul is the life center of human beings.” The soul, Willard also says, “is something like a program that runs a computer; you don’t usually notice it unless it messes up.” It is not, contrary to popular opinion, the “ghost in the machine,” the one part of us that lives on after everything else about us dies. No, as the deepest part of us, the soul seeks to integrate the body, the mind, and the will. The bulk of the book is spent explaining what the soul needs to be healthy: things like rest, blessing, and gratitude. Often in the book, when Ortberg wants to learn something about the soul, he makes the trek to Willard’s Box Canyon home. There, Willard steals the scene every time with quotes like these:

    • “One of the hardest things in the world is to be right and not hurt other people with it.”
    • “The main thing you will give your congregation—just like the main thing you will give to God—is the person you become. If your soul is unhealthy, you can’t help anybody.”
    • “Arrange your days so that you experience total contentment, joy, and confidence in your everyday life with God.”
    • “Churches should do seminars on how to bless and not curse others.”

    The one unfortunate thing about the book is that, from looking at it from the outside, you would never know the role Willard plays in it. Maybe that’s the publisher’s fault. And maybe he would have wanted it that way. But kudos to Ortberg for featuring his friendship with Willard so prominently, even though as the author he had to know he would be upstaged from time to time. As with any of his books, Ortberg’s trademark self-deprecating humor is on display, but in this area it’s his generosity of soul that sticks out the most.

    Note: Thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.