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Autobiography

Heard on the Bus

My school bus route can be a difficult one, especially when it comes to taking the elementary school kids home in the afternoon. They can get pretty worked up, and I spend a lot of time telling them to sit down, face the front and stay out of the aisle.

Every now and then, though, the kids say things that make me laugh. Here are a few from recent weeks:

Girl: “They call him Ham, but his real name is Hambone.”
“Hambone”: “My real name is JAMES!”

One first grader to another: “Hey, let’s talk about awesome stuff!”

A fifth grader, to me: “Elliot, you should install machine guns on the bus. That way, when war breaks out with Skyline [another elementary school down the road], we can fight them.”

By Elliot

Elliot was born in Michigan and raised in North Carolina. He has studied at Regent College and the University of Richmond, worked at newspapers in St. Petersburg and Los Angeles, taught ESL in eastern Europe, given tours in Alaska, and driven a school bus. Now he lives in western Washington and works as an editor at Lexham Press, the publishing arm of Faithlife Corporation.